Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
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Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
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He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.