Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Indiana (574)

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  (574): View more from Indiana

  its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.

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  (574): its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes. http://tfl.nu/wfzo
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  i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come

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  (574): i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come http://tfl.nu/d7fm
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  Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom

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  (574): Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom http://tfl.nu/tatf
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  so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper

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  well at least shes not calling you fat anymore

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  (345): so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper (574): well at least shes not calling you fat anymore http://tfl.nu/rxln
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  I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.

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  (574): I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself. http://tfl.nu/2lez
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  god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.

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  (574): god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut. http://tfl.nu/n8g7
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  some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous

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  class

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  he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson

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  (574): some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous (1-574): class (574): he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson http://tfl.nu/2w68
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  pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.

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  (574): pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face. http://tfl.nu/q45o
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  i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting

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  (574): i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting http://tfl.nu/eus0
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  I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?

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  Predator. Straight up.

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  (574): I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator? (1-574): Predator. Straight up. http://tfl.nu/63zz
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  So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.

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  Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.

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  (574): So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap. (574): Side Note: My mute button doesn't work. http://tfl.nu/2spl
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  apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"

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  (574): apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!" http://tfl.nu/r6a4
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  Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.

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  (574): Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter. http://tfl.nu/0enu
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  Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.

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  At least you didn't call me Brittany this time

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  (574): Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa. (260): At least you didn't call me Brittany this time http://tfl.nu/6s1p
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  New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy

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  enjoy the hospital

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  (574): New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy (860): enjoy the hospital http://tfl.nu/9tp2
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