he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.