The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?