He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.