Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
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She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
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Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.