Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.