apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
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We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
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My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.