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There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
so let's talk penis.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
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