yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
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I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
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Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.