Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Illinois (847)

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess

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  (847): Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess http://tfl.nu/s4vr
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  my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.

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  (847): my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b. http://tfl.nu/5vrv
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  she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox

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  (847): she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox http://tfl.nu/x7gb
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  just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom

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  (847): just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom http://tfl.nu/dq56
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  I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days

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  (847): I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days http://tfl.nu/mlev
  Replies (52) Good night (751) Bad night (3464)
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  Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.

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  (847): Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do. http://tfl.nu/qkwv
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  eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea

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  (847): eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea http://tfl.nu/myhx
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  My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.

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  How unfortunate for your Mom.

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  (847): My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein. (1-847): How unfortunate for your Mom. http://tfl.nu/e7p2
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  everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.

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  it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.

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  (847): everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool. (224): it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you. http://tfl.nu/qam8
  Replies (24) Good night (424) Bad night (3354)
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  he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since

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  (847): he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since http://tfl.nu/tbwd
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  I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"

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  (847): I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it" http://tfl.nu/8m3i
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  O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.

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  (847): O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions. http://tfl.nu/w6f3
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  my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed

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  (847): my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed http://tfl.nu/8ny3
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  i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless

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  (847): i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless http://tfl.nu/ycxo
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  This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year

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  And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month

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  (847): This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year (847): And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month http://tfl.nu/rprb
  Replies (91) Good night (441) Bad night (2936)