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Last Night in Illinois (847)

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she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox

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(847): she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox http://tfl.nu/x7gb

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Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess

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(847): Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess http://tfl.nu/s4vr

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my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.

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(847): my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b. http://tfl.nu/5vrv

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just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom

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(847): just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom http://tfl.nu/dq56

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I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days

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(847): I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days http://tfl.nu/mlev

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O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.

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(847): O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions. http://tfl.nu/w6f3

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Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.

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(847): Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do. http://tfl.nu/qkwv

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My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.

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How unfortunate for your Mom.

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(847): My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein. (1-847): How unfortunate for your Mom. http://tfl.nu/e7p2

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eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea

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(847): eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea http://tfl.nu/myhx

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everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.

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it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.

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(847): everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool. (224): it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you. http://tfl.nu/qam8

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he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since

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(847): he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since http://tfl.nu/tbwd

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I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"

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(847): I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it" http://tfl.nu/8m3i

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my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed

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(847): my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed http://tfl.nu/8ny3

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i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless

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(847): i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless http://tfl.nu/ycxo

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so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".

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(847): so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration". http://tfl.nu/m5rh

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Last Night in Illinois (847)

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