he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.