Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
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Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
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Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man