is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?