Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Washington (206)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia? http://tfl.nu/7m55
  Replies (14) Good night (420) Bad night (3387) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?" http://tfl.nu/2uiv
  Replies (22) Good night (796) Bad night (3386) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go. http://tfl.nu/rhri
  Replies (13) Good night (1859) Bad night (3354) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story. http://tfl.nu/dytn
  Replies (25) Good night (796) Bad night (3334) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL http://tfl.nu/gjdn
  Replies (15) Good night (771) Bad night (3310) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears. http://tfl.nu/u9sm
  Replies (20) Good night (1790) Bad night (3257) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth http://tfl.nu/91m9
  Replies (16) Good night (1259) Bad night (3176)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful. http://tfl.nu/c0jh
  Replies (29) Good night (762) Bad night (3172) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas http://tfl.nu/i2gq
  Replies (13) Good night (1329) Bad night (3171) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  So. She dumped me today.

  (425): View more from Washington

  Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): So. She dumped me today. (425): Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving". http://tfl.nu/4be4
  Replies (12) Good night (907) Bad night (3078)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time. http://tfl.nu/0r8g
  Replies (16) Good night (2222) Bad night (3047) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.

  (425): View more from Washington

  i'm in love

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15. (425): i'm in love http://tfl.nu/ppcv
  Replies (23) Good night (890) Bad night (3031)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents http://tfl.nu/f104
  Replies (48) Good night (947) Bad night (2983) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!

  (253): View more from Washington

  Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night! (253): Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out. http://tfl.nu/4dtb
  Replies (68) Good night (933) Bad night (2955)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated http://tfl.nu/xvfw
  Replies (10) Good night (537) Bad night (2899) Order T-Shirt