Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love