when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
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Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
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Do you still have your period?
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.