I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?