so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Did you just see the Batmobile???