Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
If You LOL At These 18 Tweets, You’re Probably A Terrible Person
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
If You’re One of These 12 Restaurant Customers, Your Server is Definitely Spitting in Your Food
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Good Food, Cheap Beer, and Hot Singles: the Top 13 Cities for Millennials