The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here