I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.