Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?