I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.