her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it