I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"