he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone