You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.