Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure