He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.