I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.