so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.