my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.