i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
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nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My bed is full of blood and feathers
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I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood