Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (918)

Last Night in Oklahoma (918)

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I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo

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Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought

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(405): I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo (918): Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought http://tfl.nu/a8il

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i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.

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(918): i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome. http://tfl.nu/yiek

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He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.

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(918): He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it. http://tfl.nu/hmj1

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Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.

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And we're breaking up

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(918): Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash. (918): And we're breaking up http://tfl.nu/t8m0

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There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters

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(918): There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters http://tfl.nu/8485

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The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.

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(918): The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals. http://tfl.nu/o5rq

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I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.

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(918): I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots. http://tfl.nu/xikz

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I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.

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(918): I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical. http://tfl.nu/pf93

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Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.

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And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.

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(918): Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted. (918): And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail. http://tfl.nu/06cg

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Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it

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(918): Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it http://tfl.nu/0aic

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She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.

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(918): She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup. http://tfl.nu/rkhg

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Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!

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(918): Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter! http://tfl.nu/uf3h

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Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...

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(918): Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic... http://tfl.nu/yey5

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I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.

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(918): I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed. http://tfl.nu/bpmv

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I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.

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(918): I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell. http://tfl.nu/i4f8

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Last Night in Oklahoma (918)

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