Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Oklahoma (918)

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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.

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  (918): My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost. http://tfl.nu/50uv
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  I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you

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  Really.

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  (918): I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you (580): Really. http://tfl.nu/kw5b
  Replies (101) Good night (10182) Bad night (2839)
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  Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.

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  (918): Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help. http://tfl.nu/4c79
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  He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.

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  (918): He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things. http://tfl.nu/ox9y
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  Whatever you gave me is making me lactate

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  (918): Whatever you gave me is making me lactate http://tfl.nu/rku9
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  I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.

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  (918): I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out. http://tfl.nu/s7ox
  Replies (6) Good night (1143) Bad night (2683)
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  I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.

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  (918): I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation. http://tfl.nu/6ld9
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  I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.

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  (918): I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics. http://tfl.nu/dut8
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  Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?

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  Its worth a shot.

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  (918): Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits? (305): Its worth a shot. http://tfl.nu/0784
  Replies (9) Good night (1158) Bad night (2620)
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  I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.

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  (918): I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can. http://tfl.nu/4vuk
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  he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.

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  (918): he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy. http://tfl.nu/so4p
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  did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?

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  (918): did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat? http://tfl.nu/7nmi
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  It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious

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  (918): It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious http://tfl.nu/z2uj
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  I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog

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  (918): I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog http://tfl.nu/wm03
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  When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb

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  (918): When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb http://tfl.nu/ycga
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