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My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
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