If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?