If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?