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WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
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