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i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
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