I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song