I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
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I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
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tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"