We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
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You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
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All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.