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he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
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