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Last Night in California (408)

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he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."

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(408): he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink." http://tfl.nu/8gq0

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No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.

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(408): No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles. http://tfl.nu/hp1m

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carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.

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be there in 3 mins

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(408): carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit. (415): be there in 3 mins http://tfl.nu/00q0

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You make shower sex sound like waterboarding

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(408): You make shower sex sound like waterboarding http://tfl.nu/cy83

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I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.

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(408): I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level. http://tfl.nu/k6hr

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i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.

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(408): i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked. http://tfl.nu/0z4b

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I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.

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(408): I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that. http://tfl.nu/q1as

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i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!

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Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...

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(650): i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner! (408): Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland... http://tfl.nu/1sp2

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She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety

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(408): She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety http://tfl.nu/edsh

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I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.

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(408): I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina. http://tfl.nu/oyks

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i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both

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i think otters can do that

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(408): i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both (650): i think otters can do that http://tfl.nu/vhzk

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Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.

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(408): Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless. http://tfl.nu/ejtk

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Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.

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(408): Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class. http://tfl.nu/q2vz

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there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing

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(408): there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing http://tfl.nu/z6st

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I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.

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(408): I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/0k63

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Last Night in California (408)

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