who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.