Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.