You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.