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the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
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