i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
I have to watch that.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.