he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you