I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.