Last Night in Connecticut (860)

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Becoming a productive member of society?

  (509): View more from Washington

  Sam. Come on.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  what did you do?

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i asked her out. that's so hot.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.

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