She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
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apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
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next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.