You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries