Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Too much gin, very little bucket
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.