i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?