nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.