Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.