I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
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nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
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My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...