So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer