Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.