using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She's allergic to latex.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."