you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.