i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.