I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave