Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!