Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush