Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Texas (817)

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  (817): View more from Texas

  No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.

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  (817): No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever. http://tfl.nu/v4fg
  Replies (13) Good night (5446) Bad night (1004) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating

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  (817): I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating http://tfl.nu/2j7q
  Replies (8) Good night (5347) Bad night (1115) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart

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  (817): His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart http://tfl.nu/4nfy
  Replies (21) Good night (5132) Bad night (851) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go

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  (817): You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go http://tfl.nu/d1mz
  Replies (15) Good night (5123) Bad night (1168) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.

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  (817): They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts. http://tfl.nu/tuhd
  Replies (7) Good night (5113) Bad night (670) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.

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  (817): When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar. http://tfl.nu/ucur
  Replies (15) Good night (5110) Bad night (1198) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".

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  (817): Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel". http://tfl.nu/2v56
  Replies (15) Good night (5029) Bad night (914) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  how can getting a pizza be this hard?

  (817): View more from Texas

  when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible

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  (504): how can getting a pizza be this hard? (817): when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible http://tfl.nu/zgw8
  Replies (12) Good night (4982) Bad night (864)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.

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  (817): Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period. http://tfl.nu/d1q3
  Replies (7) Good night (4915) Bad night (835)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.

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  (817): maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me. http://tfl.nu/m7oc
  Replies (14) Good night (4857) Bad night (472) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'

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  (817): she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!' http://tfl.nu/lcp1
  Replies (14) Good night (4786) Bad night (828) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.

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  (817): As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie. http://tfl.nu/p0o8
  Replies (25) Good night (4782) Bad night (1133) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs

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  (817): I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs http://tfl.nu/vj8z
  Replies (11) Good night (4680) Bad night (858) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  She fuckin peed on me

  (817): View more from Texas

  Stay golden ponyboy

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  (757): She fuckin peed on me (817): Stay golden ponyboy http://tfl.nu/vooq
  Replies (16) Good night (4656) Bad night (967)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?

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  (817): I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding? http://tfl.nu/zuv6
  Replies (29) Good night (4630) Bad night (2104) Order T-Shirt