He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
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would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
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Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on