He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
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It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on